A Gift of Love on Ash Wednesday

Last week was the final week in the season of Epiphany and the readings were all about the Transfiguration of Jesus, that strange and wonderful story when Jesus went up a hill and when he came down, the disciples all saw that he had been transformed. This week, I heard a wonderful homily in our chapel given by The Rev. Gary Jones, the rector of St. Stephen's Episcopal Church here in Richmond in which Rev. Jones reflected on whether Jesus had been changed, or whether it was the perception on the part of the three disciples that had been changed. It seems likely that (at least) their perception had changed, that they saw the reality of Jesus in a clearer way, not through a glass darkly, but clearly, as Jesus truly was - fully God, fully human. There are those moments, the homilist continued, when we see the world in this clear way, when we see the way that all the people around us are gifts to us, that they are beautiful, and we see that we are one in the Spirit together. Of course, these times do not always last, but they do happen, and are important to reflect upon as we move from the Transfiguration into Lent.

The Transfiguration is still on my mind because Lent began for me in a rather unorthodox way. This would be my first Ash Wednesday as a priest and in the midst of a terrible sinus cold, I went to our chapel to change the colors of the liturgical hangings over from white to purple, and I set out the ashes, ready to be blessed, and I did it all in a kind of a haze as I was still laboring under a low-grade fever and a stuffed head. That was Tuesday night.

I was ready, more or less, to lead three Ash Wednesday services for our school community and had ashes ready, more or less, for about 900+ students, faculty, and staff.

Well, sometimes (as the cliche goes) life happens when you're making other plans. In the middle of the night of Ash Wednesday 'morning' my wife awakened me to say that we'd better head off to the hospital, because our little girl insisted upon coming into the world on this holy day -- and perhaps also insisting upon coming into the world on a somewhat inconvenient day for her 'new' priest daddy!

So, at 2:30 am, I blessed the ashes, and emailed my fellow chaplain and chapel coordinator and gave some instructions...and we were off to the hospital.

Our little girl, Lily, was born on Ash Wednesday, and I (once again) saw the world clearly, remarking at the miracle of the care of nurses and doctors, cherishing my wife and her willingness to literally share her body for these many months, and the care and compassion of family who watched our two older sons (2 and 4) while we were at the hospital for the last few days.

I don't know how love can work like this, but it is expansive, and can grow deeper and wider than we can even imagine. As I watch my newborn sleep, I imagine just a bit of what God must feel as he watches us, and loves us too.

So, I enter Lent not having "done" Ash Wednesday in the traditional way, but, I have received the gift of perception, the gift of transfiguration, and the gift of knowing a bit of Godly love, even in our broken and hurting world. I pray I can hold these gifts lightly and carefully as I move through these forty days.